


Profiling for Sociopaths

by neulry04



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Asperger Syndrome, Autism, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), Comedy, Dark Comedy, F/M, Love, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Psychopathology & Sociopathy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:14:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25677160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neulry04/pseuds/neulry04
Summary: Basically it's all of our beloved characters from the BAU but add a character named Camila Cane. She's super smart very kind and also a total sociopath. Not the kind that makes dumb decisions and doesn't care about the consequences but the kind that knows what she is and tries to live her life without it getting in the way. She provides some much needed comedic relief. In first-person, kinda like a journal.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 16





	1. A Bouquet of Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet our main character, Camila Cane. She's a fun, yet feisty woman who gets assigned to her very first case with the BAU.

Hi. I'm Mila. You can call me literally anything as long as you don't call me at home. Just kidding, I will be leading you all on a tour of my young adult life as an FBI Profiler at the Behavioral Analysis Unit. This may seem like a super inappropriate thing to say, but I'm gonna spill, it is probably one of the most entertaining things I've ever done. And no it's not because I love to see people hurting or because I enjoy being a dick to others, it's because I'm a diagnosed sociopath with Aspergers. Probably one of the worst combos you could get, but here we are.

Anyway, I'm going to be walking you through my life which many people find horrific, but I find it quite enjoyable. Let's start at the beginning of my lovely career with some of the best people on this planet. I had left my perfectly cleaned apartment, which is the best part about having my autism by the way, and my beautiful Maine coon cat, Lela, patting her on the head and asking her to wish me luck. She just meowed in response which was... expected, but still disappointing.

I locked my door on the way out and headed toward my car, wincing in the process and cursing under my breath as I already felt the horrible chafing coming on. I checked my phone for the time and I cursed again since I didn't have enough time to change into slacks. If you can't already tell, I have a very bad potty mouth. I straightened my black pencil skirt around my big thighs and sighed as I lugged my 'Go-bag' to my car.

"Hey, Siri?" I spoke casually to my phone arriving at my white Toyota Rav4, and almost tripping over a rock in the pavement. Those godforsaken heels, "Set a reminder for tonight at seven pm." What do you want to be reminded about?" my little Aussie boyfriend asked.

"Wear fucking pants tomorrow."

"Ok, added." his cute voice spoke back as I climbed into the driver's seat and set my purse in the passenger and my duffel in the backseat. I plugged my phone into the charger as my routine went and made sure I had plenty of time to stop and get coffee. I did which was no surprise because I keep to a tight schedule. I listened to my favorite playlist which mostly consisted of show tunes and country which to this day I am ashamed about. I hummed some songs that I wasn't as familiar with and full out jammed to the ones I knew by heart. Most people would be insanely nervous before going into a brand new job but, as I said, I don't really feel those emotions so I was all good. I turned into the Starbucks parking lot and quickly ordered my drink on the app and waited a couple of songs to head inside. I grabbed the large drink off the mobile order table and smiled at the barista behind the counter who knew me by name.

"Hello, Meredith. How's your girlfriend?" I casually asked this small girl, grinning up at me."She's well, doing much better now that she went to the doctor." I cocked my head in a way that asked what the doctor had said, "He said they were just Braxton Hicks, you know?" I nodded in response.

"Oh! You're starting your new job today right?" nodding again she smiled. "Well good luck, I'm sure you'll do amazing."Thank you, that means a lot. Talk to you later?" she confirmed before turning to continue her work.

I walked out of the door feeling refreshed since I'd gotten the 'good luck' I'd wanted from Lela anyway. I hopped back in my car and drove off, making sure my conversation hadn't taken too long, which it didn't. You may be wondering how I'd gotten to the BAU without a GPS if it was only my first day, but I'll just tell you now, I don't like GPS so I memorize all of my routes. I turned into the entrance of the federal building and stopped to show my badge, which was pinned to my red blazer, to the guard who pointed me in the right direction, even though I already knew it. I followed my brain map and pulled into a spot labeled 'Federal Employees Only'. I pulled my duffel into the front seat and scooted out of my car.

This is where it gets rougher than it has been. I sort of, hopped to the ground, forgetting momentarily that I was wearing horrible red heels. My ankle crumpled under the weight of my body. I fell to my knees and my bag mimicked the gesture and tumbled to the ground as well.

"FUCK ME," that's what I said. Very loudly. Surrounded by people arriving at work. People I was soon to work with. It would have been extremely embarrassing but after my loud curse, I would like to say I played it off pretty well, with the help of a very attractive man walking towards me. He looked pretty concerned as I tried to lift myself from the ground resulting in my ankle giving out again, 'goddamn these heels'.

"Only if you say please," he smiled, making his eyes crinkle at the edges. I tried to return the favor but it just resulted in a harsh grimace. He helped pull me up and I steadied myself on my door and breathed out a loud sigh, murmuring thanks. I grab my duffel off the pavement and put it in my front seat, grabbing my coffee and purse in the process. He cocked his head at me, studying my features like he was committing them to memory. I reached my free hand out.

"Camila Cane, most people call me Mila." he smiled and shook with a firm grasp.

"Derek Morgan." Agent Hotchner had given me a rundown of the team previously so I was familiar with the name. As we walked into the building we held a pleasant conversation and I only had a small limp and a little blood on my knees, so it was better than it could have been. As I continued to walk in the same direction as him he seemed to get confused. I had assumed, at the time, that since Hotch had given me a rundown of the team that he had given them a rundown of me as well, but that was not the case. He seemed to enjoy surprising his team even though it was hella hard to tell since he doesn't smile.

"So what position are you taking in Quantico, Mila?" he asked a little suspiciously and I chuckled realizing what had gone down, he glanced at me oddly and I decided to mess with him a bit.

"Oh, I'm such a ditz, I must be going the wrong way," he laughed softly, "Actually, can you point me in the direction of the restroom, I need to clean my knees." he nodded and proceeded to point his hand and asked repeatedly if I needed any help which was very kind of him, but I still declined. I went into the bathroom and took a paper towel, wetting it before dabbing at both my knees.

After feeling that they were clean enough I strolled along seeing more agents and other federal employees. No one paid me much mind until I walked through the doors that lead to the bullpen as I know it today. I held my head up high and glanced around trying to locate Derek, but he didn't seem to be there, I continued to walk around and up the stairs, following the route, I went for the multiple interviews I had with Agent Hotchner. I knocked on his office door and I heard a bunch low whispers erupt behind me, I smiled to myself.

"Come in." I heard his monotone voice come through the door. He nodded as he expected me, but didn't smile the way other people greeted each other, which I appreciated. It meant he wasn't fake, or misleading and he wanted to get down to business first and foremost. "Agent Condor, welcome."

He stood and walked toward me shaking my hand and leading me out of his office. I stood still for a moment not wanting to look like a lost puppy and I'm glad I did. "Actually can you wait in my office for a moment, I'll come to get you after I gather the team." I nodded and returned to his dimly lit office.

I sat in one of the chairs and counted the number of keys on his keyboard, 109, even though I'd done it a million times before and it always turns out the same, you can't always trust what you know. He came in after I began studying the pictures of his son on his desk. He was a very cute kid, though I could probably guarantee he asked dumb questions, which was annoying. He did by the way, and he still does occasionally.

"Alright, they're ready for you." he motioned for me to come.

"Are you sure?" I chuckled, "I can be a lot to handle." 

He didn't laugh but I definitely saw a small prick of his lips and that made me smile. It looked like I was floating along the way compared to his drill sergeant like marching, which I found pretty funny so I started to mimic him and when he'd turn to see what I was doing I'd go back to my normal walk, and soon a few of the agents downstairs picked up on what I was doing and started to laugh, which just seemed to confuse him even more, it was glorious.

To this day he does not know I did that. We both rolled into the room and he immediately started talking and introducing the team. As he did this I would murmur things to remember which was which. It went sort of like this.

"Agent Camila Cane, this is the team. Agent Derek Morgan,"

"Beautiful man." I'd whisper under my breath all the while greeting him with a smile. Hotch was caught off by my mumble for a second but he remembered that I told him I do weird things sometimes and to just let me do my thing.

"SSA David Rossi."

"Looks like my dad." Rossi nodded and smiled and I returned the favor.

"Agent Jennifer Jareau."

"Pretty Blonde." She was close so she shook my hand and grinned.

"Call me JJ."

"Agent Emily Prentiss."

"Bad bitch." she laughed out loud because she was also close. She turned to shake my hand.

"Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia."

"Amazing colors," she gives me a little bow and I return the gesture.

"And finally, Dr. Spencer Reid." I was stunned. This adorable bean pole looking dude half-smiled at me and waved, and my breath was gone. I had been with people before, but it never got too serious, because I'm upfront about my mental health and the stigma about sociopaths is that we can't feel anything for anyone and that's not true. But the feeling I got when this guy looked at me was astounding. I just let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd held in and let out a very quiet wow.

"Alright, nice to meet you all." they all smiled, and I turned to talk to Hotch, "Do you mind if I tell them before they find out some other way?"

"Go ahead."

"Ok, so when I was six years old I was diagnosed with Aspergers, it doesn't affect much except that I say most anything that comes to mind, so you'll probably find that I talk a lot. Later on, when I was ten my mom took me to a psychiatrist because the doctors thought that my autism was worsening as I got older, and the psychiatrist re-diagnosed me with Antisocial Personality Disorder alongside the Aspergers. Pause for dramatic effect." I paused and they all seemed very intrigued.

"Actually, it's fairly common in the US. Almost 200,000 cases per year, and that's just the ones that are diagnosed. Often people go their whole lives without realizing they have any problems. So you really are fortunate to have been diagnosed and be taking steps to better yourself." Dr. Reid was the first one to chime in and I was very appreciative of it, so I took a deep breath and smiled, studying all of their faces.

"If you have any questions just ask, I'm an open book. I'll tell you anything you want to know alongside a bunch of stuff that you probably don't. Just not right now. There's a case that we need to go over." I joked and took the seat next to JJ and Penelope handed me a tablet that had the case loaded up.

"Alright, my darlings, we're going to Devils Lake, North Dakota," she spoke, clicking a button on her remote. I tilted my head at the image displayed on the screen in front of me. It was a picture of a cute little lake town, "Women are turning up on the lakeshore looking like this."

She clicked again and grimaced. I studied the image. It seemed the victims had severe frostbite on their hands, forearms, feet, and faces. This didn't seem normal to me since it was only October and I didn't think it was getting that cold up there quite yet. The victims were all female, ages twenty to twenty-five, had black hair, and super pale skin from what you could tell, but that could just be the cold. They all were naked and had one hand covering their breasts the other covering their genitals.

"So here's where it gets much weirder, they all had tattoos of some kind of flower on their bodies. Victim number one Claire Mann disappeared three weeks ago, had a dandelion on her ankle and was found with it removed. As in the unsub cut it off. Victim number two Alison McReynolds, disappeared two weeks ago, had a daisy on her hip, victim three Macy Downs, disappeared three days ago, had a tulip behind her ear. Both displaying the same cut-outs where their tattoos used to be. They were all found two days later with severe hypothermia and lied out with arms covering their naked bodies.

"Probably taking them for trophies, but how is he keeping them from rotting?" asked Agent Rossi who was sitting across from me at the circular table. I nodded at his conclusion since I'd come to the same one.

"Maybe he's making a bouquet," I said in passing, feeling the eyes cross over me, but I'm used to saying things people find odd and getting looks for it. But I didn't think anyone would laugh so I was surprised when JJ chuckled next to me.

"Have they been removed postmortem?" Emily asked, holding back a similar laugh. I thought these people were going to be reproachful of my behavior but they were seeming to accept it gratefully.

"The M.E said they were the first victims seemed to be done as an afterthought postmortem but the other two had been before he killed them," Penelope responded, going to her tablet for some of the answers.

"The first victim was probably an accident then, and he might be trying to recreate the first murder with girls that look like Claire." Dr. Reid spoke up again.

"That quite possibly could be the case, it's a long flight so wheels up in twenty," Hoth spoke in response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time skip brought to you by kit kats ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please pause a moment a say this out loud unless of course, you are reading this in church. If that's the case, please carry on silently: Break me off a piece of that kit kat bar

I strode out to my car and grabbed my bag for the trip. Before I came out Hotch showed me my desk which was right across from Dr. Reid and next to Emily's. I was feeling really good about them, they seemed very kind and understanding. When I re-entered the team, my desk clump and they were watching Dr. Reid do something with a deck of cards.

As I approached he smiled wide and said hold on, and snapped his long fingers after putting the deck down. He then gestured for me to come closer and I'm not one to be flustered so I strode forward suspiciously. He reached up behind my ear and pulled a whole card out, my mouth fell open in astonishment.

"Is this your card?" he asked JJ and she laughed while nodding. He smirked, obviously proud of himself which was pretty cute, lemme just say. I grabbed my purse off the desk and then looked around for the direction of the jet we were gonna take.

"I can show you where the jet is if you want." JJ made eye contact with me.

"Sure, why not?" I smirked and let her lead the way. Rossi and Derek followed behind which was reasonable since we had five minutes until we needed to leave. In most groups, there is one person who is always last to get in the car, on the bus or plane in our case. I noticed JJ kept looking over and opening her mouth like she wanted to say something but couldn't find the words she wanted to use, "You want to ask me something?" she seemed a little taken aback by the sudden noise and I chuckled at her and nudged her on the arm with my elbow, "Go ahead, I don't bite. Much."

"You don't act like a typical person with an antisocial personality disorder."

"Is that a question?"

"I guess it wasn't, how do you mask it so well?"

"I don't put effort into masking it. I've just worked hard with my doctors since I was very young and I've learned ways to cope with the people around me. The biggest problem is the lack of conscience. Like I have to think one hundred percent harder to make a decision, which goes completely against my personality, by the way because I don't get the automatic 'Oh no, I shouldn't have done that.' so I often don't apologize for things because I don't know that I did something wrong in the first place."

"So how do you want us, like your coworkers and friends to deal with it?" That was a great question that most people don't think to ask.

"I just need you guys to be upfront with me, whether it be out in the field or in our relationships, I want to make sure I don't step on too many people's toes."

I winked on the last few words and she chuckled. We continued conversing, switching topics as we went. We arrived at the tarmac where the private jet was... parked? Does a plane park? Whatever. Hotch came out talking to Dr. Reid, and Emily trailing far behind. I guessed she'd be the 'last one on' type.

I let everyone else go ahead of me when we were ready to board so I could figure out where they normally sat and so I could get the feel for who they were together. I boarded after and took one of the open seats across from Emily. It was about a five-hour flight and we were going to brief about an hour before landing so I was going to listen to some music. As I was putting my earbuds in I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"You didn't tell me you'd be joining the team." Derek addressed chuckling as I whipped my head around.

"Hotch seemed like he wanted it to be a surprise." I shifted my gaze to the quiet man reading the case file. Derek followed my looks and shook his head, "And anyway, it was funny to see how surprised you were to see me."

"What are you gonna listen to?" he sighed, taking a seat near me. I shrugged, glad that he was taking an interest. It meant that he wasn't upset, at least that's what my therapist tells me so I'll understand social cues better.

"I suppose I'll hit shuffle on my playlist and see what comes up." he nodded and pulled out some headphones, by the looks of them they were beats.

"Me too." he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. I took a moment to look him over. He was athletically built and had a very sharp jawline which had a small stubble growing in. His arms looked like hams and they were super toned, it looked like he could crush a watermelon with his bicep.

We soon took off and I fell asleep listening to a random song from West Side Story.


	2. Taking Pictures of Dead People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila continues to go through the trials and tribulations of her first case.

The landing in North Dakota was super rough. As we hit the ground, I let out a string of profanities under my breath which made Hotch give me a look, which was way too similar to the ones my dad gave me when I cursed around him for it to be normal. Maybe it was a 'dad' thing though. The rest of the team didn't seem to mind much because they were all preoccupied with the case.

"Alright team, Rossi and Prentiss, head to the disposal sights. Morgan, head to the M.E, see what they have to say. JJ, talk to the Downs family. Reid, work on a geographical profile if you can. Condor, you'll be with me. We're going to talk to the sheriff, see what he knows." I perked up and shimmied my shoulders.

"Ooh, this is so exciting," Hotch looked at me in a funny way, and JJ choked on the tea she was drinking. I clarified, "My first case."

He sighed and the rest let out light chuckles and stood to deboard. Hotch put a hand out as I started to stand. I paused and raised my eyebrows in his direction. He then waited to say anything until everyone was off to speak which, I would like to say, is so intimidating it should be illegal. My eyes, during this prolonged silence, trained on a piece of fuzz on his shoulder and it took everything in me not to just reach out and grab it, but I restrained myself.

"I'm bringing you with me to explain to you some of the ways we do things until you get a feel for the job." That was a relief, good god. I let out a sigh and my eyes trained back on the fluff, but he continued, "Mila, we are an accepting group of people. You don't need to worry about what we think of you, do you understand?"

"Thank you, sir, I appreciate that. Also, you have had a piece of lint on your shoulder this whole time. Can I get it off?" my eyes drifted down to the piece of white fluff that contrasted nicely with his black suit. He looked down but couldn't see it so I reached forward and plucked it off and flicked it to the ground without waiting for his response. He gestured to the exit and we followed the path that the rest of the team had taken.

We had seen that the team had already left with the two other black SUVs and Dr. Reid was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. I realized he'd have to do the geographical profile at the police station where Hotch and I were headed, so it made sense for him to tag along with us. I smiled at him and he did his little crooked, closed-mouth smile, that he'd done multiple times, so I guessed it was something he did.

"Do you want the front seat, Dr. Reid?"

"Yeah, sure, and... um... you can just call me Reid or Spencer," he responded looking a little flustered. I nodded and headed toward the car. I put my go-bag on the seat next to me and readjusted my skirt and blouse that had gotten wrinkled from the plane ride. I sat down and scooted to the middle seat, and fastened my seatbelt. At this point, Reid had settled and Hotch had started the car. It was an hour and a half drive to Devils Lake and I waited for a second to see if either of them were going to turn on the radio. When they didn't I was affronted.

"Do you guys not listen to music in the car?" I looked at the both of them, Reid turned to look at me but Hotch kept his eyes trained on the road.

"I don't listen to music that often," Spencer responded.

"I only play music if my son is in the car." Hotch then chimed in. My mouth fell open. I thought it was super common for people to play jams in the car but apparently not since I was sitting with two people who didn't. Reid kind of chuckled at my response.

"What do you do in the car?" I asked, still reeling over the new discovery.

"I don't actually drive a lot. I find taking public transit systems more suitable for our profession. It gives me time to think as well." Reid responded quickly as if he'd already known what I was going to ask, or maybe he was going to say that no matter what I commented.

"I like to take drives to think and music just intrudes upon those thoughts, but I use it to distract Jack because he gets carsick." Hotch saying this made me smile. He had a relationship with his son. That made me happy.

"Hmph. Well, I suppose we could talk about the case, but I feel like we've milked that a bit."

"We can listen to music if you'd like," Hotch said turning on the radio. I scrunched my nose and leaned forward but was stopped because my seatbelt got locked. I was forced to sit back in my seat, "What music do you like?"

"I grew up in Texas so I really enjoy Country, and I love musicals as well." Hearing my words, Reid reached for the dial and turned to some random number and it turned out to be country music. I was very confused. "Did you just guess?"

"No, I have an eidetic memory. The last time we were in North Dakota I read a list of radio stations for the case." That made much more sense with all his odd facts and spouting off about things that no one needs to know. I thought he might have Aspergers like me but this made sense as well. He just had so much knowledge that he felt like he needed to share.

"That's amazing. It must come in handy on this job." I thought about what I'd said for a second, "I guess it can get pretty hard to remember everything we go through, though."

"I try to not let it affect me." the automatic answer came with ease as if he responded with it when anyone exposed the negatives of the job. I rolled my eyes. It's not like I'd quit the job just because he said it bothers him sometimes. But I will admit the pictures of the dead bodies did give me the chills, not in a good way, but if I was incapable of doing this job I would not have taken it in the first place. So that defense mechanism must have been helping him cope with the extensive harshness that was constantly presented to us.

"You don't have to feed me that fuckin' ... generic ass answer." Hotch's ears pricked, "Sorry."

I noticed the invisible wheels turning inside the man's head. It seemed like he didn't get challenged like that very often, but I didn't understand why. Why wouldn't the team challenge him, it's the only way to get better as people and as profilers. But at that point, I'd only known these people for a total of six hours so it was unfair of me to make judgments.

"I have my own ways of coping, I suppose." this was a more acceptable answer in my mind. I could accept that he copes, I couldn't accept that he wasn't affected. Everyone is affected by shit like this, even me, and I hardly feel emotions like that at all.

"It's what we all do." Hotch spoke up after a moment of silence, "You'll learn how to, as well."

I smiled, big and bright. A lot of people treated me extremely differently when I first met them, but Hotch was one of the very rare who accepted it and moved on from the topic quickly like it didn't even matter. It gained so many brownie points for him, he doesn't even know. We continued to sit in comfortable silence until 'Tennessee Whiskey' came on and even the hope of starting another conversation was swept off the table as I serenaded them with the poetic words of Chris Stapleton.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time skip brought to you by diet dr. pepper~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A/N: Please pause a moment to sing this. Unless, of course, you are reading this at your great aunt twice removed's funeral, then please mourn in your own way: It's the sweet one**

I cautiously slid out of the large car, not wanting a repeat of that morning, although the landing was still a little rocky because of the material they used to pave their roads. I knelt down and inspected the gravel that got caught under my heel. It was coarse. When I touched it lightly it would fall apart but if I applied pressure it would become extremely dense and not easy to break. I returned the gravel to its rightful place and stood up quickly, seeing that Reid and Hotch had started walking.

I had to run to catch up with them and let me tell you it was horrible. It wasn't so cold that I hated to be wearing a skirt, but it was cold enough to make running make me feel like I had sand in my lungs. The fact that they were walking and still made it hard for me to catch up at a decent jog really said something about my leg length. Don't get me wrong I know I'm short but I'd never felt inferior for it. When I finally did reach them they were discussing the weather, which seemed odd.

"You'd think if the victims were cold enough to get frostbite, it would at least be below freezing here." Reid was fidgeting with his tie.

"I agree, it doesn't make much sense. The unsub must be holding them somewhere else." Hotch opened the door.

"Somewhere cold enough to give them hypothermia and frostbite, but not cold enough to freeze them." I chimed in which made Reid jump. I laughed and shoved him a bit, "Did you forget I was here?"

"No, you'd just been quiet." he became flushed again and it made me laugh right as we were stepping into one of the dreariest places I'd ever seen. My laugh echoed around the small building, and all of its occupants seemed to become still as we made our way past reception. I continued to smile because my ability to read social cues was and is still lacking. I saw a short man trudging toward us, he extended his hand out to Hotch as we were introduced.

"Aaron, nice to see you again." The man's voice was as boring as his demeanor, he seemed like a villain in a Disney movie had sucked the joy out of him.

"Sheriff Paul Clutchkey, this is Agent Mila Cane and Dr. Spencer Reid." he gestured to each of us. I saw Spencer wave as I extended my hand. I pride myself on my grip, it makes for a wonderful handshake which, in turn, helps people to respect you. This comes in handy (pun intended) as a woman and a person of color.

"We've set up our meeting room for you and the rest of your team." he led us away in the direction of some offices. The building itself was drab and needed some color. I'm sure spending days there made for all work and no play, which is not how I roll. It had outdated wood everywhere, and all of the desks were piled with paperwork and no personal items. I'll never forget the feeling of my first case being worked in such a pedestrian building. The case may have been super odd but that building had nothing strange about it. It was so normal, it almost made me uncomfortable.

We entered another mundane room, but this one held a large table surrounded by eight cushy chairs and a whiteboard with the victim's names and pictures on them. I went straight there. I wanted to see how pale they were. It seemed I had guessed correctly in thinking they weren't as pale as they'd been in death. They all had naturally tan skin and dark hair which probably meant that they were a surrogate for someone the unsub felt wronged him in some way. I turned around to face my companions when I heard Hotch's phone ring.

"Hotchner. Hold on, I'm putting you on speaker." Hotch pulled the phone away from his ear and pressed the screen. "Go ahead,"

"So the ME said there were multiple pieces of gravel found in all of the victim's hands and knees." Morgan's voice boomed around the conference room. I thought back to the gravel I felt outside, that could be a connection right?

"What was the time of death?" Reid asked.

"She placed it almost exactly an hour before the bodies were found." I thought this was odd because he said bodies, plural, which meant he either misspoke or this murderer made sure they would be found an hour later in a secluded area.

"All three victims?" Hotch mirrored my thoughts like they say great minds think alike. Derek made a sound of confirmation.

"I thought that was weird too." he vocalized his cogitation a few seconds later, "Do you think the unsub could be telling people where to find the bodies?"

"Just come to the station and we'll compile our information." I could tell Hotch didn't particularly like talking on the phone.

"Ok, see you guys in a bit." the line clicked, Reid immediately walked out of the room in the direction of the sheriff's office. I looked at Hotch. He was organizing files and looking through a box with a date labeled on the side. He broke the silence unexpectedly which made me jump.

"What are you thinking?" He spoke directly to me and looked up to meet my eyes. I cocked my head at him.

"I think we need to talk to the people who found the bodies again. They might be hiding something." I spoke slowly, wanting to make sure what I was saying was what he wanted to hear. He nodded approvingly, and I sighed, "But I don't understand why they wouldn't tell the police if someone told them to walk that specific trail or kayak on that part of the lake. It doesn't make sense."

"It might not to you, but they probably didn't even notice that they'd been talking to the unsub." I nodded, that does make sense, he probably is very sociable, and he probably can manipulate people to do his bidding without them realizing.

"I don't think he would have time to work, manage a family, and murder these people in this way."

"Probably not, he most likely is unemployed and finds it hard to maintain relationships. He seems controlling, doesn't he? The way he removes the tattoo. It's almost like he's forcing them to be who he wants them to be." I looked down. That's very menacing. A few moments later, Reid came back with a large map. He placed it on the table and pulled a bunch of markers and highlighter out of his man-purse. He began marking and drawing lines all over it. I just stood there and watched in awe. It was pretty interesting to watch how his mind worked.

I sat down in between hotch and Reid and started looking over the case and inserting the information we had gotten. I liked to write out what I think the unsub's process is because it helps me assess their motive and the way we should handle them. I learned to do it in therapy when I was little and dealing with all the bullies who liked to not only make fun of me because of my mental problems but my appearance as well.

"Hey guys, we pulled in at the same time. Let's get to work." JJ, Rossi, Prentiss, and Morgan all strolled in at the same time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time skip brought to you by subaru~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A/N: Please say this with me, but don't if you are reading this while hiding from a serial killer, in that case, stay silent and maybe call the police: Love that's what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.**

I don't know what it is about spending the night in a hotel with two other women, but I slept wonderfully. That might attest to my character since I'd been looking at gruesome pictures all day, but who's to say. Anyway, we had split up again because Reid, JJ, and Prentiss wanted to head over early. Hotch had a skype call with his son so he let them go ahead of us. Rossi, Derek, and I really wanted a bit of extra sleep because we were up late conversing about the case, and they also had quite a few questions for me about my life.

I smiled every time I heard an anecdote about Rossi's pasta parties(as I dubbed them) or Penelope being insanely inappropriate towards Derek at the wrong time. The fact that they really were family made me happy because I'd always wanted work to feel like home and I hadn't gotten that yet. I danced around the hotel room as I got ready, listening to my country music and every now and then a soul song would come on and I'd belt out the high notes. I decided on pants today. Nice slim fit dress pants with the same red heels as the day previous, but with a black suit jacket instead. I had a red scarf packed and decided that it might come in handy. I strolled out of the room and directly into Derek Morgan.

"Well, I was coming to get you to tell you we were about to leave, but you seem like you got it all under control." Men have it so much easier in a job like this. I remember what he wore that day, jeans and his holster, and a form-fitting long-sleeved shirt, and I was flabbergasted. I spent forty-five minutes trying to look that good and he probably rolled out of bed and through those clothes on before coming to get me. It's a travesty in the name of feminism.

"You don't ever have to worry about me, I've always got it under control." I quipped back, walking past him and toward the elevators. He followed my trail and we were soon headed down to the lobby. This hotel was very similar to the police station in that it lacked any glow or anything interesting at all for that matter. There was a small cafe and that's where we met Rossi and Hotchner, "Do you think I could grab some coffee and then we could go?"

This was a moment in time that I was truly happy. I watched Dave turn around to the table he was leaning on and pick up a cup labeled 'CC' and my heart fluttered. I felt accepted, it was wonderful.

"CC?" I questioned. I'd never really gotten nicknames from anyone other than my parents I suppose, but they just called me Mila or Camila, "I like it."

We exited the building and walked to the car. I started to get my brain into work mode by humming sad songs under my breath. Hotch sat into the driver's seat, Rossi went to the back seat and my eyebrow quirked. I looked up to Morgan to see what he would do. He nodded at me as if to say 'go get it' and waltzed around the car humming 'Still Hurting' from The Last Five Years. I climbed up to settle into the passenger seat.

The ride was pleasant enough. I was in full focus mode at that point though so the humming stopped. I then leaned my head back against the headrest and took a few deep breaths, in for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four. Repeat. This method of breathing kept me from getting too anxious and it definitely came in handy with some of the extra nerve-wracking cases. 

We arrived a short time later and I felt my phone buzz. I let the guys get out of the car before looking at the message. It was from my mom in our family group chat. It said 'MILA!!!! We haven't heard anything! How is it going!?!?!?' I chuckled at her inappropriate use of all caps. I shot her text saying it was great and I'd call her later to talk. When I finally got out of the car the men had gone ahead.

As I rushed to catch up to the three men with unreasonably long legs, my attention was grabbed by a naked woman walking toward us. I cocked my head at her and went to investigate. I jogged to meet her, taking off my jacket in the process and slinging it around her shoulders. She began sobbing and I tensed. I don't like it when people cry. I never have and I never will. She was a lot taller than me even with the heels and that meant the coat didn't do much.

I heard the padding of feet behind us alerting me that Hotch, Rossi, and Morgan had run over. I did what I could in the means of covering her with my small body because she did not like that there were now three men witnessing this very fragile moment. Hotch immediately pulled his phone out and called who I assumed to be an ambulance, but he apparently called JJ first. Upon realizing this I pulled my phone out and called an ambulance. They said they'd be there in a few minutes and hung up. I shooed the men away and as I turned I saw Emily running out. I turned back to the women.

"Hi, I'm Agent Cane. Can you tell me your name?" I questioned in a super soft voice. I heard the sirens coming closer. Emily came to my shoulder.

"I'm Agent Prentiss. Can I put this around your shoulders?" she asked but the girl was very out of sorts, so I didn't think she'd be answering any of our questions until she had calmed down. I think Emily had come to the same conclusion because she wrapped the blanket around her anyway, but she seemed fine with it since she pulled it closed around her chest. Every time my fingers brushed the girl's skin it felt like my hand was dunked into a bowl of ice.

We were trying to warm her up until the ambulance pulled into the small parking lot. The woman became very panicked as two new people hastened toward her. She gripped my arms so tight I could feel it would leave a mark.

"It's gonna be okay, they are here to help." I tried to sound soothing but it was very difficult because of the harsh clasp she had around my forearms. The woman paramedic asked us to give her some room but the terrified woman wouldn't release my arms. "Hey, they need to get you to the hospital to get you the help you need."

She seemed slightly reassured, well, reassured enough to slowly let go of my arms and allow me and Prentiss to back away. The man paramedic turned and gave me my jacket back, and I thanked her quickly. Prentiss and I then retreated to where the rest of our team was congregated, whispering to each other like a group of schoolgirls talking about a cute boy.

"Do you think he let her go or she escaped?" JJ asked quickly as we made our way over to them, "And did she tell you her name or anything?"

"No, she just cried a lot. She didn't say a word, at least any that I could understand." I replied dryly running my hand over the place she grabbed me. I could already see the bruises forming. They looked like they wanted to hear something else, "I can go see her at the hospital. I'll probably have the best chance of getting her to talk."

"Yeah, that's true. I could go with her, Hotch," Prentiss looked me dead in my eyes. She seemed like she wanted to say more but she didn't.

"That's fine. Let us know what you find out." he agreed, turning and heading into the building, gesturing the rest to follow. Reid didn't though.

"Is your arm okay?" he asked quietly. I didn't think I was making it too obvious that it was sore, but I guess I wasn't doing a very good job. I smirked at him impishly.

"Are you worried about me Dr. Reid?" I laughed and held my arms out, "They're just a bit bruised, I'll get over it."

He just nodded and turned around. 'He has a lot going on in his head' was the only thing I could think before Emily interrupted before I could start a mental conversation with myself.

"Let's head out before traffic gets worse." it was around the time that people would be heading to work so I followed her thought process. I started off in the direction of the car, still subconsciously massaging my forearms to try to rub away the bruising that was forming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time skip brought to you by queen~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A/N: Sing this with me please, unless you're tired of being berated by your parents for staying up too late, then stay quiet for the love of God: she's a killer queen gunpowder, gelatine. dynamite with a laser beam guaranteed to blow your mind, anytime**

We arrived at the hospital a good forty-five minutes later. It was only a five-minute drive except we severely underestimated the number of commuters there would be. Although it was a super interesting ride because I found out that Emily loves to listen to music/ jam in the car and that's what we did. The whole situation restored faith in humanity.

Parking in the garage meant for visitors. We made our way to the elevator and had to guess which floor the woman was supposed to be on. We decided to go to the emergency floor first and see if there was a receptionist of some sort. Emily seemed a little under-prepared.

"Haven't you done this before?" uncertainty laced in my words.

"Umm... Yes. I have, but we normally arrive and the doctors already know we're coming. I guess I was supposed to call ahead, but I bet Hotch normally does it without telling us." I chuckled and patted her on the shoulder.

"It's alright. We'll figure it out." I scrunched my nose when we walked through the sliding doors into the chaotic emergency room. I hate the smell of hospitals. It reminds me of when my dad was in the hospital with lung cancer, and you could probably understand why I wouldn't want to be reminded of that unless you're a fucking psychopath. We strolled casually up to the front desk and pulled out our badges. The woman was talking on the phone so we waited for a few seconds before I got impatient and put my badge down in front of her face. She looked up abruptly.

"Sorry girl, I gotta run, talk to you later." it was a personal call and I was unhappy about it, "FBI huh? What can I help you with?"

"A Jane Doe came through here a bit ago, she is probably being treated for hypothermia," Emily spoke calmly while I put my badge back into the waistband of my pants.

"Oh yes. Her room number is..." she hesitated typing for a moment on her computer. "Six-sixteen."

"Thanks," I responded shortly and turned on my heel. Prentiss followed me and we headed back to the elevator. We had to go up to floor six to talk to our victim.

"I don't really like the smell of hospitals," she said abruptly, "They make me think of death oddly enough."

"I don't like the smell either. My dad died in a hospital and ever since I can't bring myself to get over the smell." I said matter of factly. I could tell she was looking at me and I didn't quite understand why, but I went back over my words. Death makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but it had been twelve years since my dad passed and I hadn't cried yet. I couldn't tell if that was one of my mental issues or if I was just cold-hearted, but I suppose it didn't really even matter, "I was sixteen so I've moved on quite a bit."

"I know how hard that can be. I'm glad you've gotten past it though." she seemed like she really did know. People will say they 'understand' but it never feels very sincere, but when she said it I could tell she really meant it. I wondered who she lost at a young age and how close they were.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. The scene was even more chaotic than it was in the ER which was extremely surprising. Someone was yelling 'someone killed her' at the top of their lungs and this made me reach for my gun attached to my waistband. I removed the firearm from my holster and held it out in front of me.

"FBI! Clear the floor," Prentiss shouted over all the commotion. People turned to look at us but as soon as they saw the guns we were holding they fled to the staircases to the right of us. I walked ahead and Emily clears the rooms as we go by the door. We arrived at the patient room labeled '616' and I cautiously stepped into the room checking my left and right and clearing the room. The same woman who was at the police station was lying on the ground like she'd gotten up to run but was struck on her head with a blunt object. I bit my lip. This is the part that I've always hated. I may not have empathy for others but she was going to be able to help with the case and now she can't. Prentiss dead sprinted out of the room to see if she could find the guy, I guessed.

"Hey, Hotch. This is Agent Cane."

"What's going on?" he responded quickly.

"The unsub came to the hospital and killed our victim." I walked toward her and checked her pulse to make sure she was dead, she was "His usual MO. Blunt force trauma to the head."

"We need to figure out who she is. Call Garcia. And get back here, we need to deliver the profile."

"Yes, sir," I said, and dialed another number and put it on speaker.

"Speak and behold the treasure of knowledge," the peppy voice I recognized as Penelope answered.

"Hey Garcia, I'm gonna send you a picture of a woman. Can you run her face through facial recognition? Look for any missing women in the area as well. He abducts low-risk victims so someone ought to be looking for her," I opened the camera app on my phone, took a picture of the dead woman's face and clicked a few more times on her phone, "Alright it's sent."

"I got it, and oh my god is she dead? You've got to warn a girl before you send her some creepy picture of a deceased woman." I chuckled at her distressed tone.

"I'll keep that in mind, Garcia. Bye," I replied clicking the end button and turning around to see Prentiss running back in shaking her head.

"We should get going. I'm sure Hotch sent the police to investigate the crime scene." She sounded dejected so I just nodded. We left the hospital quickly and tried to get to the station as fast as possible. I assumed we were gonna deliver the profile once we arrived since I'd developed one in my head that I felt was pretty solid. We got to the police station in record time and my theory was correct because we only talked to the team briefly before Hotch had written all down on the board.   
"We're ready to deliver the profile." 


	3. He's a Murderer Agent Cane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Mila works on keeping her mouth in check, the rest of the team uses the profile to find the killer, and Hotch gives her a special assignment for such a newbie.

We were all standing in a curved line in front of the whole police department. We finished describing the unsub and the officers in front of us were looking extremely unsure. After a solid minute of staring, the sheriff told them to get out there and do their jobs. I wondered if it always went like that or if this was a rare occurrence. I hoped for the latter because they were extremely unresponsive. 

“I’ll call Garcia and see if we can narrow down our search,” Morgan retrieved his cell from his pocket. I was fidgeting with my pants because I found a very obvious wrinkle in the middle of my thigh that made my short legs look shorter than was necessary when Derek snapped his fingers in my face. Apparently, I had been hyper-focusing for a lot longer than I realized because he looked like he had more info.

“There are two men that look pretty good for it, Trace Collins and Levi Reynolds,” The whole group was standing around in a clump listening seriously to his words, “We can split and go check them out separately,”

“JJ, Reid, and Morgan, take a team of officers and go to the Collins residence,” Hotch looked each of the people in their eyes as he spoke their name, “I’ll take Rossi and Prentiss with me to the Reynolds House,” 

“Was that your passive-aggressive way of telling me to stay here?” I spoke the first words that came to mind as usual, but these particular ones seemed to trigger Hotch in some way. 

“Agent Cane,” he spits my name out like it burned his tongue, “This is your first case, you will not be coming into the field with us, and be more respectful with your words,”

The others looked to me like my response was crucial to the proceedings of the case. I smiled dryly and pushed myself away from the desk I was leaning against. His eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly and I had a moment where it felt like I was in a ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ novel and I came to a crossroads. I could use my wit to come up with a snarky retort and never get into the field, at least not at the BAU. Or I could hold my tongue and say something respectful and keep this wonderful position that gave me an opening to great opportunities. I weighed my options very carefully as the rest of the team watched with bated breath. 

“Of course. I would never want to offend you, sir.” 

I had decided on the latter after my deliberation. He seemed satisfied with that answer and he told the team to get going. They all scattered except for the dorky doctor. He looked at me as I returned my focus to the wrinkle in my pants. 

“If you, uh, wet the wrinkle and hold it under the hand dryer in the bathroom, it should come out.” He licked his lower lip, which I’d noticed him doing a lot, and turned to follow his teammates. I smiled and went to the bathroom to try out his trick. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time skip brought to you by snickers~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A/N: This one is just to remind you to get a snack.**

I sat drumming my fingers on the conference room table. It felt like it had been hours since the team had left but in reality, it had only been twenty minutes. The wrinkle trick worked like a charm and after that, I just sat myself down in the conference room and looked at the profiles of our two suspects. 

Morgan was right, they both looked very good, in more ways than one if you know what I mean. Just then I hear my phone go off in my purse across the room. I hopped up and took long strides across the room

and reached my bag on the third ring. 

“Agent Cane, awaiting your beck and call,” I answered with the slightest bit of snark in my voice. I heard a slight throat-clearing and could feel the awkwardness over the line, “Dr. Reid, is that you?” 

“Uh, yes we’re ringing in Trace Collins now. I’m going to put you on speaker.” I rolled my eyes, not understanding how a person could be so awkward but still so intriguing. I could hear the motion of walking and the shutting of car doors and then a long pause. At this point, I was getting very impatient. 

“Did you find anything?” I snapped after I felt like the silence had gone on long enough. I heard a sharp inhale of breath and then a few whispered statements. 

“Yes. We found the girls… uh… tattoos in his garage. And a large ice room. We’re bringing him in to solidify a confession and then we’ll be heading home.” That was Emily speaking and I sighed, feeling relieved that we had done a good job, and then there was another sharp intake of breath.

“Cane, you should probably call Hotch,” Morgan had said that in a slight chuckle and I cocked my head, realized they couldn’t see me, and spoke.

“Why would I need to do that?” 

“Well… you should just call him.” Reid was the voice to answer me this time. 

“I’ll call him when you guys stop acting super weird,” I could hear Morgan’s deep chuckle again and Emily’s sharp inhale. 

“We’re not acting weird,” Reid’s voice was higher than it usually was and I sat in a chair as I contemplated whether to let them know I knew they were lying. I decided to call them out in a joking manner since I’d be working with them.

“You do know you’re lying to a sociopath, right?” I laughed throughout to make them feel comfortable and they laughed, but theirs were more strained like they weren't sure they were supposed to be laughing, “Anyway, I’ll see you guys in a bit,” 

I ended the call and pulled the file on the Collins guy toward me. He was the more attractive of the two which made me feel strangely accomplished. It felt like this case was saying that even though you’re beautiful, it doesn't necessarily mean you’ll escape the confines of mental illness. This thought was on a loop inside my head when I remembered that I needed to call Hotch. I picked up my phone and dialed quickly.

“Hotchner,” his harsh voice was not easy to get used to.

“This is Cane,” I said this since he didn't seem to know who he was speaking to.

“I was just about to call you. The others are bringing in Trace Collins now, and I’d like you to lead the interrogation since you weren't out in the field on this case. It’s not normally something new team members get to do, however I believe you might be able to connect with him in some ways.”

“Wow, sir,” I spoke this slowly. I got a terrible anxiety bubble to settle in my stomach, “I don't know if I should be flattered or a little offended.”

“Neither. You should feel like you need to prepare. He degrades the women he murders, he doesn't respect them because of the way he felt toward his mother. She looked very similar to the victims, and since Prentiss looks too similar to her she can't do it. Since our unsub is a narcissist and sociopath with misogynistic tendencies, I feel that a woman in power might unsettle him,” All of his words sounded like a warning in a different language that I didn't even know how to say ‘hello’ in. Yet I still found myself saying ‘Yes sir.’ and hanging up. Looking back, the only words I can use to describe the situation ensued are as follows:

A total fucking shitshow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **Time skip brought to you by Academy** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A/N: Please take a moment to sing with me, unless you're in the middle of Walmart waiting for your mom to stop talking to the lady she knows, if that's the case continue being irritated in silence. Sing as follows: The right stuff, the low price, every day. Academy!**

I sat waiting in the interrogation room. When Rossi arrived he suggested that if I was already in the room when Trace Collins was brought in, it would suggest that I was confident in what would happen. So that's what I did. I had all of the case files in front of me with pictures printed and stacked neatly. I was resting my heeled feet on the desk and was reclined back, attempting to look very relaxed and in my element which I was not. 

About ten minutes after I had finally gotten bored I got out my phone to reorganize my apps on my phone. They had a specific order I usually had them in but it was getting hard to navigate. I heard footsteps echoing down the hall and I hastily slid my phone back into my pocket and resumed my confident and calm position. The door opened and a tall young man entered looking extremely smug, in response to his face, I smiled. Hotch followed, pushing the man as he entered. He walked the man to the table and sat him across from me. I assumed this man was Trace Collins. 

His hands were cuffed in front and Hotch uncuffed one wrist and cuffed it to the table. He was wearing nice clothes and had a nice physique, he wasn't my type, per se, but he was conventionally attractive. He sat in a way that told me he was very comfortable in the environment even though he was handcuffed, and he leaned back in his chair calmly and checked me out. I wanted to cringe because that is disgusting, but instead, I carefully removed my feet from the desk and sat forward looking down at the pictures in front of me.

“You’re too pretty to be in such a dangerous job.” his voice was deep and seductive and I fought the urge to cringe again. His whole demeanor was arrogant and it was pissing me off a little. I heard the door shut behind Hotch as he left.

“You flatter me.” I smiled up through my eyelashes like I used to do when I wanted a free drink at a bar, “This is actually my first case.”

“Well then, you have plenty of time to switch careers.” this guy was a misogynist and it showed. I smirked at him and he chuckled, “Your smile is beautiful.”

“I think I’ll be staying in this job for a while.” I shuffled the pages to move his focus to them. I watched his reactions as I spread them out before him, and they didn’t let me down. He immediately smiled slightly wider and his chest puffed out sort of proudly. I lifted my head back to face him and he relaxed, “Do you know these women?” 

“No, they’re dead?” he seemed so undisturbed by the murders depicted, and at that point, I was sure I could get him. 

“Were their smiles pretty?” his face shifted, “Did they remind you of someone?” 

“I don't know what you’re talking about.” his tone had shifted suddenly and was cold and blocked off.

“Did their dark hair remind you of the mother that allowed your father to abuse you?” My tone was becoming hostile.

“Do not talk about that woman.”

“Did she let him smack you around when he got drunk? Did he ever even lay a hand on her?”

“Stop-”

“She had flower tattoos too didn't she?”

“It’s not-”

“How did freezing three women to death make up for her mistakes?” 

“They didn't freeze to death, I strangled them while their knees dug into the ground. And I felt their breath leave their lungs. And I watched their eyes pop.” he stood and reached across the table to grab me around the neck. It happened so fast I couldn't even reach for my gun. His hand tightened and lifted me out of my chair. My legs started to shake and I clawed at his arm, “You’re not near as strong as you think Agent.”

It felt like hours before the door slammed open and three men came hurrying in, my eyesight was blurry so at the time I couldn't see who it was, but one of the men tackled Collins and his grip released. I fell to the side and landed hard on the ground and I felt two strong arms wrap around me as I was lifted from the floor of the interrogation room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **Time skip brought to you by Skittles** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A/N: Please say this phrase with me, unless you have laryngitis, then continue your recovery. : Taste the rainbow.**

I remember waking up and feeling soreness around my neck. My eyes opened and I saw that I was lying on the couch in the Sheriff's office. My brain was working very hard to remember what happened before I passed out but I could only feel the ghost of the arms that held me tightly to their chest. 

“Fucking dick.” Those were the first words that escaped my mouth as I recalled what had taken place in the interrogation room. I heard a chair scuttle near me on my left and my eyes flashed in that direction. Spencer Reid was sitting awkwardly as he had just been startled and I chuckled at him. He cleared his throat again and stood, walking carefully toward me.

“You’re awake, that's good.” he was fidgeting with his hands and I felt the strong impulse to grab them to make him stop, “The brain undergoes a lot of stress while unconscious.”

“I know that one.” I sat up and he looked like he wanted to stop me but I gave him a look and instead he drug his chair closer so he could sit next to me. I rubbed my neck lightly and fished my phone out of my pocket. I opened the camera app and examined the area. It was very red and there were a few spots where there was already bruising. I grimaced at the sight and tried to think of how many turtlenecks I owned which happened to be very few.

“May I-” he caught my attention and gestured with his hands as if to say ‘examine’. I nodded and pulled the collar of my shirt out of the way. He leaned very close, and I could feel his warm breath tickling my skin. His hands were unusually soft when he brushed them lightly against my neck. He moved one hand and tilted my chin up to get a better look at one spot that was particularly bruised, “Can you swallow?”

I choked on the breath I didn't realize I was holding and started laughing. The situation was too sexually charged for him to go and say some shit like that. He looked a little flustered, and in between giggles I tried to swallow. It worked so I had to let him know.

“Yes-” I was chortling at this point, so unattractive, “I… can… swallow… “

He seemed to realize why I was laughing and blushed deeply, and at that moment JJ and Prentiss walked in followed by the Sheriff and Hotch. They all looked rather surprised to see me in such high spirits. 

“I brought you some water,” Prentiss was holding two paper cups and I fell into another fit of laughter as I thought about the word ‘drink’. I still took it gratefully and smiled at them as I calmed down. Reid had leaned back and was looking a little uncomfortable and the rest seemed to want to be very gentle with me for the time being. 

“Thank you. Did you get his confession on a recording?” I asked, getting back to the case like the professional I was. Hotch made a face.

“Was that your plan? To almost get yourself killed by a serial killer?” he sounded a little angrier than usual. My mouth dropped open, but I did owe them an explanation.

“He was way too cocky going into that interrogation. He needed to be angered whatever happened after I made him angry could have been prevented by me and I take full responsibility.” I talked calmly and mirrored Hotch’s tight expression. Reid stood and walked out of the room abruptly.

“Well, we’ll talk about that later. For the time being, are you feeling alright?” He spoke sternly at first but changed his tone to more of a parental one after. My mind flashed back to the little boy he had at home. I smile reassuringly.

“I’m feeling fine, the bruising is the worst of it, I promise.” I stood up and proceeded with my questions. “Are we done with what we do?” 

“Yes, we’ll be leaving tonight at 9.” he seemed dissatisfied with my answer, but I didn't think he would press further. “We will be heading back to the hotel soon, we were just waiting for you to wake up.”

I nodded and went to gather my stuff from the conference room. Spencer was in there putting some files in his bag and as I walked in he looked up. I smiled courteously and collected a few of my own files, I heard the now-familiar clearing throat sound and looked back up at him

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable back there,” his voice was a little high and I frowned, “I was just trying to help.”

I put my bag on the table and strolled over to him. I placed a light hand on his and smiled widely, “I was completely comfortable.”

He half-smiled at me and I removed my hand and went back to get my stuff together. Hotch was correct after I was ready to go, we said our brief goodbyes and returned to the hotel. I went with JJ and Prentiss and the boys went to the other car. 

“Y’all… “ I said this as we drove off in silence. 

“What?” Emily laughed at my word choice.

“Ok, so you know how I was laughing when everyone walked into the office?” They both nodded and JJ rested her elbows on the center console, “Basically when I woke up Reid asked if he could look at my neck and I, of course, obliged.” 

“As one does around the doctor.” JJ laughed.

“He was, like, really close and was touching my neck and then he tilted my chin up, so obviously I was like ‘whoa man, getting a little too big for your britches there.’ And then he had the audacity to say ‘Can you swallow for me?’” by the end of my little rant we were all laughing and I smiled at the little bonding moment.

“Oh my God, I wonder if he even realized what he said?” Emily thought out loud.

“I think he did because he apologized when we were getting our stuff,” I responded quickly.

We continued to laugh and I was glad to find out that these girls listened to music and I was truly thrilled. A few songs later we got to the hotel and went up to our room. It was only five so we all sat down to have a glass of wine or two. We had a wonderful time talking and laughing and I got to see pictures of JJ’s boys and Emily’s cat, Sergio, and I showed them pictures of my mom and my cat Lela. Sooner than we wanted it was time to leave, but we were all feeling pretty good so Derek drove us to the airport. As we were walking to the jet I had a thought.

“Too bad he’s going to prison, he was really cute,” I said matter-of-factly.

“He’s a murderer,” JJ said laughing.

“And he tried to choke you.” Emily was also laughing, but I raised my eyebrows at her.

“I mean… it wasn't that bad,” they guffawed at my statement, “These bruises will keep me going for a few weeks if you know what I mean.”

I started laughing to signal that I was joking and we all boarded the plane. It was a pleasant ride, not too turbulent and I got to know the team better. We started talking about my life so I talked about the townhome I lived in and how it was near this cool park that I enjoyed and I saw Reid’s eyebrows crease. 

“What’s your complex called?” he asked a few seconds later.

“Shady Bluff Townhomes, I think,” I answered quickly and he smiled crookedly at me.

“I live right up the road from you, I love that park.”

“Well if you need a ride anytime let me know.” I smiled at him and decided that I would be giving him rides to and from work from now on. When we landed I gave them all my number to put in their phones and we parted ways to get some much-needed sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just started school, so hopefully, I'll be able to keep up with writing. I am super excited about what happened in this chapter and I love a good Reid moment. Please leave a comment to let me know what you think!  
>  Noelle <3


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